The lies But God YOU opened up my eyes To dig deep within YOU showed me the truth embedded in My experiences My programming The lies The enemy lied to me when I was but a young little girl– My hopes and dreams were dashed because the enemy stole the truth and replaced it with a lie And the web of lies continued and multiplied And took so many years– BUT GOD YOU are the healer and my story Is yours I’m yours. The liar tried to steal my peace. My innocence. My light. My love. My joy. My hope. Through lies. But YOU my God, my healer Are destroying the disguise The demise of the tempter Is coming soon Forever But I don’t have to wait for hope For now YOU break the curse The lies YOU--Holy Spirit Dwelling deep inside Are revealing every secret and Exposing every lie And teaching me the truth that I could never quite understand That I’m free I’m not trapped. I have a voice To rejoice Not to be be silent Not to be private Not to repeat the tempter’s lies. I am protected I am accepted I am loved And nothing done on this earth Can destroy the works of God. The work You started You will complete This – You guarantee. So all with ears to hear please hear Open up your eyes The tempter once deceived you And set your life of pain in motion But the answers to your questions Can only now be found in Christ. You are chosen You are adopted You are accepted You have new life You are redeemed You are esteemed You are forgiven Will you choose Christ? -------------------------- By BD Lyons, May 29, 2022
Tag Archives: joy
Intimacy and Eternity
I wrote this some time ago as an introduction to a book that has not yet been fully birthed. I don’t know when it will be, but it is time to stop storing up the words the Lord has laid on my heart in the depths of a computer file.
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Many years ago I spent almost the entire summer seeped in the Word of God. It was the first time I had ever yearned for knowledge of God in such unquenchable amounts. I woke up in the morning, sat at the kitchen table with the sunlight pouring in over my books, and read the Bible. I started in Genesis and used the New International Version.
Prior to that summer, I had never read much beyond the creation and only parts of the new testament. But something happened while I finally sought to know the God who I had adamantly chosen to believe in and follow—I became genuinely interested in every word that dripped from His mouth (His Word, His Book). I had heard the Bible stories and read them in parts over the years, but I had never absorbed the narrative as a whole. I had never followed the lineage of Adam, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and the rest. I had a very cursory knowledge of His-story.
That summer, I ate up the text, falling more and more in love with the author of creation daily. I would sit there, many days, until sun set. I realized that this Book upon which I based my life was… get this… interesting! Raunchy! Raw! And dare I say… feminist literature like no other! (Please put aside all modern associations of the word “feminist” and think only of the word as I use it here in terms of equally valuing women and holding them in high esteem, not degrading them or calling them lesser than men.)
What I experienced that summer was deep, intense intimacy with The Lord. It was the first time I had such intimacy despite being a Christian for nearly the twenty years prior.
And it led to years of spiritual disappointment. Yes, I said disappointment. Over the next several months, I didn’t have the kind of time I’d had over the summer to spend time in the Bible and in prayer. I tried to spend time in the mornings and evenings with Him, but I was just so busy—being a high school English teacher—and I was tired. I was also busy with ministry and emotional recovery from various issues.
I remember my pastor telling me that the time I had in the Word that summer was a gift and that it couldn’t always be like that, but I was miserable without it. After so many years knowing that my relationship with God was not what it should be, I had finally captured it. I had experienced extended intimacy with the Lord, and I thought that it was supposed to be like that all the time. It should be like that all the time. Nothing less could satisfy my soul.
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Over the years, I began to understand that God gives us times of refreshment, times in deep waters to fill us and prepare us for drier times. He prepares us. The two years following that intense summer, and even the year prior to that summer, was filled with trials and attack on so many levels. In retrospect, I don’t know what I would have done without that time to let my roots run deep.
What I experienced was a glimpse of the Creator, an eclipse, a moment or rather, a series of moments of intense in depth eternity. I chased that experience for years until I realized that I could never actually recapture it. But what I discovered was that the more I paid attention, the more I could experience other glimpses and in fact if I could be seeped/soaking in His essence every moment, I wouldn’t miss it. I wouldn’t yearn for it, I wouldn’t groan for it.
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You see, the earth is broken. The garden of Eden was closed down… for now. While eternal intimacy with the Almighty is within reach for all those who believe in the Son, Jesus Christ, until we are in Heaven, we will never fully dwell in His presence. That is the ultimate brokenness in which we live. Darkness, sin, disease, despair, isolation, loneliness—all of these are temporary gaps in which we temporarily dwell, and in which we develop a hunger and thirst for eternity. Through the pits, we glimpse the glory and goodness. And if we are careful, if we watch closely, if we pay attention, we will see glimpses of His presence all around of us. The rocks will cry out. The earth is filled with his glory.
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Please share your thoughts with me on this topic or similar experiences you have had!
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The Hole in our Hearts
Repatriating: Day One
A brief note – I haven’t written since March, and I am sorry. I’m getting back into the groove now though. I will ask that if you read a post of mine that touches you or that you think might resonate with one of your friends, that you please consider sharing it and consider liking my author Facebook page. There are sharing buttons for many social media platforms at the end of each post. I am working towards publishing my first book, and the more readers I can show that I have, the better my chances are of being published. I will share more about the book later. Stay tuned! Thanks! -Brittany
Updated on 5/20/2017 for grammar, punctuation, and mechanics.
I was sitting in the passenger’s seat of my sister’s SUV, staring out the window at the fields of grass as we passed them by. Cows. Stacks of hay. The occasional barn. And the tears began to flow.
She had just picked me up from the airport. My last flight from China, my home for the past five years.
My nephews were in the back seat — my suitcases were stacked in the hatchback trunk with my cat’s crate tucked snugly between them. The occasional meow could be heard through all the cargo, as the boys craned their necks up and back as far as they could to look at the newest member of the family, my adopted Chinese cat-son. My most expensive souvenir.
Just after I was picked up from the airport
I’d been waiting for this moment since the previous summer when my sister and her family moved to this small town in the country. I had just returned from another summer of whirlwind world traveling and was able to visit her in her new town for two days before it was time to catch my flight back to my other world — China.
I knew when I had gotten on the airplane that summer to head back to China that it would be my last year. I sensed it in my spirit — and after a long hard and amazing school year, it was finally over.
I couldn’t even count the number of nights that last year in China that I sobbed myself to sleep because I wanted nothing else but to snap my fingers, be done with China, and back home in Virginia. And yet, there I was: landed, through customs, in the car, with my cat, and on my way “home” when the tears began to seep through my tired, burning eyes.
A few minutes before the tears began, I had warned my sister:
“Just so you know, repatriating is rumored to be one of the most difficult and stressful challenges people face in life. They say it is really hard and there is nothing that the surrounding family can do to help. So be warned. I’m beyond happy to be home, but I’m beyond grieved to be leaving China. I had a whole life there and a whole community and family that I may never see again. And I’m so excited to finally be home. And I feel everything. Joy. Sadness. Excitement. Grief. Anticipation. Loss. All at the same time. I’m going to be emotional, and I don’t know when or how, but you won’t understand. You can’t. And it’s not your fault. It just is.”
“Okay,” she replied.
“Okay.” I nodded and peered out the window. And just as quickly as the thoughts surfaced in my mind, Oh. Oh no. I can’t leave, the floodgates opened. I began to panic, mildly hyperventilating, and vocalized my suffering. “I’m stuck! I can’t escape. I’m really here. I’m really here. I’m really here.”
Without shame, with tears streaming down my face, I looked my sister in the eye. She gently grabbed my hand, held it and continued to drive.
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This was just over one month ago. I’m still processing what it is like to repatriate. I haven’t settled into a new life yet, but I’m starting to feel like I’ve begun settling out of my old life. I’m in transition. I have a new job, but I haven’t started it yet. I’ve found a church, but I don’t know anyone yet.
I’m no longer sleeping on the couch of my sister’s house, but I am still sleeping on an air mattress on my nephew’s bedroom floor. I no longer have my own kitchen, but I am sharing my sister’s kitchen… and neither of us like to share our kitchen… something about me not believing in recipes and washing dishes in a “weird way.”
We haven’t gotten around to clearing out the basement where I will live for the next year, but I am here, sleeping on the floor of an eleven year old’s room, washing my own dishes, missing my housekeeper, running out of money, grateful I have a wonderful job starting soon, already living paycheck to paycheck, and just trying to figure out how to repatriate and be… an American again.
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On Suffering, A grain of hope & a plea to stop with the bad advice
Today, I found out that a childhood friend I have occasional Facebook contact with has not only one rare cancer, Histio, she has been fighting for years, but now two. She suffers daily as she fights the illnesses all while raising two beautiful children with her husband.
I was about to post another blog, when I read her Facebook update and this topic seemed more important. It reminded me of the message I heard in church today. It was about “In the meantime” moments by Andy Stanley. When our situations seem hopeless, when there is nothing we can do, when the odds are stacked against us. What do we do? What do we do when there is nothing we can do?
I approach this topic with a heavy heart, hesitantly, and treading lightly because I have no answers and I do not want to put anyone, including those who suffer with ailments and heart-aches I do not understand or God Himself, in a box. I will not pretend to have a cookie cutter answer. Suffering sucks. It hurts. It hurts the body. It hurts the heart. It just hurts.
However, I felt compelled to explore the idea of suffering briefly and see what God says about it. This is not a sermon, just an exploration. Maybe I’ll learn something.
So I did what any non-seminarian student of the Word would do when looking for verses on a particular topic. I googled it. I typed in “scriptures on suffering” and got eleven million hits in less than a half of a second. Clearly a topic of concern to all of humanity.
A lot of what I found was unhelpful.
God uses suffering to bring people into closer relationship with Him is a paraphrase of almost every site I clicked on. And while I do not think the statement is incorrect, for I have myself, drawn closer to God in the midst of my own emotional and spiritual seasons of suffering, it is not enough, and in fact can seem quite cruel to the non-Christian and even to many Christians. It cannot stand alone.
Another common response is that the world is sinful and with the entry of sin into the world all those years ago, sickness came to the earth and it just infects us. And one day, in Heaven all sickness will cease. This is also not inaccurate, but doesn’t provide much comfort right now.
Words, true words, can be used as a weapon if not used properly. Just look at the Pharisees. They knew the scriptures. They knew the facts. They quoted Moses correctly. And yet, they were dead wrong, and they killed Jesus. The point here? Truth without love isn’t truth at all.
Dedication
To the young couple whose child is hanging on for dear life in the NICU on a ventilator, with feeding tubes, repeated seizures, temperature spikes, and unknown brain activity
To the wife and mother who suffers daily with a chronic rare cancer, who battles the monster with chemo, diet, and every other possibly helpful treatment available just so she can see her babies swing on the playground and blow out their birthday candles
To the single teacher who was diagnosed with cancer, who is living in a foreign country away from all family, who serves as her sole financial provider, who must take unpaid leave to have and recover from surgeries
To the others who suffer in ways the world does not know:
You are heroes. True heroes. I do not understand for I have not walked in your shoes. I do not know why or what good will come from your pain, but I pray to God that He will allow you to see even a glimmer of good fruit produced from it.
Remember and give thanks
What I have learned this past year from seeing the people I love suffer is that every moment matters.
To the parent of a healthy child, treasure the day you bring your baby home from the hospital for the first time because it was a gift and not a guarantee. Each breath is a gift from God. Don’t feel guilty that your child is healthy while another parent’s child suffers to breathe. Just thank God for giving your child breath and remember to love and not judge those who have a different path.
To the woman whose annual health check came back normal once again. Give thanks for clear test results. Each heart beat is a gift from God. And remember those women who have a different result.
To each parent who is healthy enough to enjoy every moment of your child’s life, embrace it, for it is not a guarantee. And remember those families who have a different path.
Letting go of unhelpful advice and replacing it with truth
And for the love of all God’s people, let us all stop saying catchphrases such as “Let go and let God.” As someone who has tried to let go and let God do all kinds of things in her life and in her heart, this is not helpful.
I also encourage people to stop saying, “God will not give you more than you can handle.” I admit that I have been guilty of this! While well-intentioned (I believe or hope), it’s not Biblical. He always gives us more than we can handle. Sometimes, I can’t even handle getting through a normal day where my health is not in question, I can’t. I just can’t. The best advice I have heard and that replaces this phrase, came from the previously mentioned sermon by Andy Stanley. He suggests we say to God daily, “I can’t. I can’t. But God, you can.”
This verse is talking about temptation to act on sin. Suffering is not an act of sin. We may be tempted to sin as a result of our suffering, just like anything unpleasant could cause is to cope in unhealthy ways, but suffering is not a sin.
Regarding suffering, or rather mourning which I argue is directly related, the Bible does say this in Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
Sometimes, we just can’t. We must and yet, we can’t. My friends who nearly lost their firstborn and one month later are still with him daily at the hospital couldn’t. They just couldn’t. And you know what, God never expected them to. God did. He comforted them.
Sometimes, we just can’t.
Fall apart. Mourn the loss of what is no longer. It is okay to fall apart. Tell God you can’t but recognize, do not forget to recognize, that He can. He somehow enables those who suffer to manage life. It may not be how they would prefer, but people do it. They are heroes. And He does comfort the broken-hearted and the broken-bodied. I don’t know how. He’s just a very big God.
Sometimes, I fall apart in God’s lap, metaphorically speaking of course. I believe those are His favorite moments with me. They are definitely my most favorite moments with Him. Moments of truth. Parents like it when their children humbly admit the truth.
I had an experience some time ago where I was in a minor fender bender and it wasn’t my car. And insurance wasn’t covering it for reasons I will not get into. No one was hurt, but I caused it, and I couldn’t afford to fix it. I fell apart. I cried. And then I told my dad. He scooped me up in his arms and told me he would fix it. And I fought him because I wanted to do it on my own. I thought I deserved whatever consequence would come for not being able to fix it myself since I caused it due to “stupidity” I claimed. But the truth is I couldn’t. I had no money and definitely no skills. And no insurance. He had the skills and the tools. I let him fix it. It hurt because I didn’t know how it would turn out. But it turned out fine. He didn’t care that it was my fault. He didn’t care that he would lose an entire month’s rent to pay for the damage that I had caused. He is my papa and he could and did when I couldn’t.
And he is human. God is so much bigger than our humanness. He loves us more. He provides for us bigger.
Back to the other point- telling people to let go and let God is simply not enough and when we do it, we miss the point. Perhaps a better thing to say is to Squeeze God around His broad chest instead of using those arms to carry our burdens alone because when we let Him hold us, he naturally carries the weight of the burden too. Even that is philosophical to many many people, and unhelpful to a large part of the population.
I have no perfect advice or solution here just experiences, mine and a few from other people. And God’s Word. That’s supreme.
Through the suffering of my friend’s first born, through the love poured out to them through the church, through their friends, through their community, a lens was placed on them, and the love they have for Jesus Christ was witnessed by hundreds, if not thousands. People who have never trusted Christ started a discussion. I witnessed one of these discussions in my own classroom during lunch as students talked about and admired their steady faith.
I am not saying that we all suffer so we can be put on display, but when we do suffer, what if we could be real and honestly admit that we can’t handle it without the judgement of others being poured on us, without people telling us to be strong when we know we are not. What if we could hand our giant pain over to God and then climb up in his lap and cry.
So then, what can we do?
This article from Focus on the Family offers some advice to those around people suffering that (I think) might be helpful. You decide.
What can we do practically to help those who suffer? Give a dollar or 1000, whatever we can when they are in financial need. Pray unceasingly. Send them a note. Babysit. Play with their kids. Bring them a cup of tea and sit next to them in their own home. Remember them. Do not judge them.
And try to help find a cure. Support them by helping to bring awareness for the purpose of promoting empathy and increasing funds for research.
This was not a sermon. Just an exploration. And I learned something.
God be with you all.
If this resonates with you, I invite you to please like, leave a comment and/or share it with your friends. I’d also love to hear your thoughts and about your own experiences.
Want to read more? Please add me on Twitter or Facebook [links below] or subscribe here on wordpress! I’d love to connect.
© [B.D. Lyons] and [bdlyons.wordpress.com], [2016]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Reblogging, excerpts, and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to [B.D. Lyons] and [gracefulpersistence.com] with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The Meaning of Graceful Persistence
She sat in the corner of the room with tears streaming down her face. Words came out that no one ever expected to hear. Her words told stories of abuse, sickness, depression, heart-ache and self-hatred. Another girl danced in circles in the middle of the room, seemingly oblivious to the pain that was diagonal to her. Pure, untarnished laughter poured from her lips. Giggles. Innocence- when in a moment their eyes met for the first time. Joyfulness met sadness and they became comrades. Together, they called themselves Peace. Neither of their lives were ever the same.
Jesus can bring joy to our hearts even through our suffering. He uses friends, strangers, and unsuspecting neighbors. The key is to open our eyes and see the people around us. See the need. Connect to the human housed in flesh even when that flesh does not match what we think it should.
Welcome to the very first posting of my blog, Graceful Persistence. What does Graceful Persistence mean and how is it relevant, you may be wondering. Well, it started as a screen name I had many years ago as I aimed to gracefully persist through life even in the tough times. I recall blubbering on the floor, saying stupid things, succumbing to peer pressure, clicking send impulsively, being filled with regret, and further hurting people by desperately trying to pick up the pieces of what I had done. I was not very graceful most of the time! (And still am not) Though it was quite persistent! I’ll return to the meaning of Graceful Persistence later on.
After years of wanting to write and dabbling with writing blogs, novels, and nonfiction, I’ve decided to formally start a publication where I take my passion for writing, the Bible, and mentoring youth and put them together. In Graceful Persistence, I will regularly share experiences as well as insights on life and scripture that I find valuable and maybe even helpful for those who come across my page.
Feel free to share my posts as a reblog, comment, or even send me a message on the contact page.
This blog is for anyone who finds the posts valuable; the audience who I think may find it most interesting are young women, as they are usually who I have in mind when crafting words simply because in writing and in life, I aspire to understand my own identity as a daughter of Christ and help younger women come to understand and embrace their identities as fellow daughters of Christ.
So back to the original question. What does Graceful Persistence mean to me these days? Remember the girl filled with sadness and heartache in the corner of the room? And my antics? Not so graceful. We are not always graceful or persistent as we journey through life. But there is someone who is always both. Graceful Persistence reflects the nature of God in His pursuit of us. We are hopeless, helpless, lost sinners stumbling through life, but Jesus Christ never gives up hope, never stops extending his helping hand, and is ever faithful to save when we reach back to Him. He is steady and unchanging. He is loyal and unwavering. He is always and forever graceful in His persistent pursuit of you and me.
This blog title is to remind us all that no matter what our circumstances, successes, or screw ups, He is Graceful Persistence even when we are not. And that my friends is a beautiful thing.
Thank you for reading my first blog post!
If this resonates with you, I invite you to please like, leave a comment and/or share it with your friends. I’d also love to hear your thoughts and about your own experiences.
Want to read more? Please add me on Twitter or Facebook [links below] or subscribe here on wordpress! I’d love to connect.
© [B.D. Lyons] and [bdlyons.wordpress.com], [2016]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Reblogging, excerpts, and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to [B.D. Lyons] and [gracefulpersistence.com] with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Graceful Persistence 